Raindrops and Tiny Dresses

Loss will uncover things for you that you never knew were happening in the world.  For example, did you know there are people in the world, complete strangers, who sew tiny dresses for babies who die?  Well, there are those people.  They sew tiny white dresses with yellow smocking and leave them at the hospital for babies whose parents never had time to think that they might need a tiny white dress to put their tiny baby in while they hold her for the first and last time.  And then there are the people who crochet tiny blankets to wrap your tiny baby in.  Because you may have never thought about it, but a receiving blanket is much too large to wrap your tiny baby girl in.  I remember lying in my hospital bed holding my baby girl in her tiny white dress wrapped in her tiny crocheted blanket, astounded by the fact that a complete stranger would take the time to sew that tiny dress and crochet that tiny blanket.  Who was this stranger?  Was she old? Was she young?  Was she a mother?  Had she lost a baby too?  Surely she knew what it was to love a child.

And then there was the kindness of the man from the burial park whose job it was to call and tell you that she had been buried.  He could have just said that it was done.  But you could tell that he had chosen his words carefully and thoughtfully.  He said, “I wanted you to know that we have buried your daughter Jillian.  We buried her just as the rain began.”  I’m pretty sure that he also knew what it was to love a child.  And you are so grateful to this man who added in those few extra words, to give you a memory of your baby’s burial even though you weren’t brave enough to be there yourself.