My Shades of Gray

I stopped coloring my hair one year ago. I didn’t stop covering my grays to make a statement of any kind, I just got tired of the effort. I was tired of the cost, and of the chemicals on my scalp, and of having to constantly worry about my roots. So, I stopped. I had many concerns about stopping, but my tiredness overrode the concerns. It has been a long process, a love-hate relationship of sorts. Well, maybe the word hate is a little strong, but I have definitely had my insecurities with it along the way. Society has programmed us to be so afraid of and against aging, encouraging us to thwart all signs of it at any cost. I will be honest, most of all I wondered if I would still feel attractive and lovable. I crave love and affection, after all. But I held on to that deep-seated belief that beauty comes from within and not from the color of our hair.

Well, one day, a month or so back, I was proven right. I got cat-called while walking to my car after a yoga class. I had left that class sweaty and glowing, feeling strong and powerful and beautiful and connected. I could feel it from the tips of my toes all the way up through the crown of my head. And as a car made its way to the stop sign and eased around the corner, the driver called out of the window, “Girl, you are looking good tonight!”, with an emphasis on “night”. It wasn’t the kind of cat call that makes my skin crawl; it wasn’t the kind that makes women wish we were invisible. It was more like a hearty and genuine, “Namaste!” out the window; a, “My beauty sees your beauty!” It was the outward affirmation for what I was feeling inside. And I thanked him for noticing. He didn’t care about my grey hair. Nor should I.

So, I guess what didn’t begin as me trying to make a statement has become me making a statement. Be who you are. Find it and be it well, and allow it to proudly shine out. You are beautiful. And you are looking good toNIGHT!

💕